vague mystique.

When this blog debuted, I sent out an email to three of my friends inviting them to read my first blog post and send me their comments and critiques about it. At this point I was unsure of what I was going to be writing about, yet confident that I would be comfortable with my friends reading it. After all, I was close to them, and your close, true friends are supposed to know your innermost thoughts and feelings, are they not? Perhaps it would even strengthen my relationship with them if they became active readers, constantly knowing what was going through my head, who I was thinking about, situations I was currently analyzing. It could make them understand me more, and by their reactions, make me understand them more, too.

I, Rosalie Bass, regret this decision.

Last December, one of the friends mentioned above found fault with something that I wrote in the first edition of my gossip column and became extremely agitated with me. They viewed what I wrote about them in one of the paragraphs  as a personal attack, even though I didn’t mention their full name or go into that much detail over the situation. Their agitation was so high, in fact, that they felt the need to tell someone who wasn’t meant to see the blog what I wrote, and, coincidentally, their name was mentioned in the column too, and before I knew it I was plunged into a two week long feud with a bunch of people that I really didn’t feel like fighting with. It was horrible, and after that experience, I was always careful about what I wrote about and who I mentioned.

A few months later, when my blogs started to include more personal information about my life and my thoughts, I noticed that it was impacting my relationship with my best friend, Jami, who also is an active reader of this blog. Even though she never made a big deal out of anything that I wrote (She’s a very chill, accepting person), every so often I would publish a post that would make her feel uncomfortable and ask awkward questions. In addition, if at any point I was feeling aggravated at her, or needed to analyze/complain about her, I had to refrain from it because I knew that she would end up seeing what I said and get offended, thus making the situation worse.

Then, today, I had the most unsettling realization that there is a very distinct possibility that somehow, some way, Brenden found out about my blog and has started to read it. THIS IS VERY BAD. He is not the type of person I tell things to, or want knowing about my personal life. Actually, in all honesty, this goes for the majority of my friends. The only people that I don’t mind knowing about what goes on in my personal life are Jami and Nathaniel, and even them I don’t tell everything to. Some things are better left unsaid in real life. It’s just how it is.

Anyway, though, the point is that today I made the decision to change the URL of this blog for the benefit of my own self. I simply don’t want my writing to be influenced by other people anymore, and quite honestly I do not want to have another panic attack like I did today with the realization about Brenden (I am simply NOT COMFORTABLE with him knowing intimate details about me. NOT COMFORTABLE AT ALL). Having a more private audience (aka, people whom I do not know in real life) will allow me to discuss more things and mention more situations and occurrences in my life. I feel that there will be less taboo topics, and that I will be able to stop writing fantastic posts only to end up not publishing them in the end because they revealed information that I didn’t want certain people to know (This has happened a lot lately).

ALSO!

With the change in the URL, I have decided to upgrade the layout of the blog a little. As you will see in the fancy sidebar to your right, there is now a quote box directly below the banner, aimed to enlighten your minds with a thoughtful quote that has some sort of significance to me. The archive section is also in a new spot, and the gossip column has been updated due to some of you complaining to me about it being outdated (See, I LISTEN to my requests! I READ my emails!). As I am an active music listener I also created a section devoted to what I am currently listening to, linking the icons to the band/singer’s official website in case anybody has not heard of them and wants to check them out. There is also a likes section linking to all of the websites I’ve been obsessed with lately (The last link is to my profile, if nobody has seen it),  and a section after that about the television shows I’ve been watching because I am a freak and like to share every detail of my life with people I don’t even know. If any of these things INTEREST you, and you want to strike up a CONVERSATION about it, feel free to EMAIL ME or something (Or Twitter, as I check/update that several  times a day. I’m a little obsessed with things like that). Oh, and at the end of all of that hubub is a picture of me because I don’t know about you guys, but I am the type of person that enjoys having a visual of the person I am reading about. I promise to update it every few weeks or so, for your viewing pleasure (It shouldn’t be that hard; I’m a picture whore).

I hope all of you are doing well!

xoxo