For about two hours today, I was at the mall with Serena (My eighteen year old sister), her twenty two year old friend, Antoinette, and her friend’s fourteen year old little sister, Ashley. I don’t normally do things with my sister, but since my mother refused to take me Christmas shopping and all of them also procrastinated, we decided that the most logical thing to do would be to go together. I knew it would be interesting at best; it always is when I do things with Serena, because she lives her life in such a different manner than I do and sees things in such a different perspective. However, I did not foresee that it was going to be so thought provoking.
It all started when I was in the car with them and one of the first things that Ashley did was pull out a box of cigarettes. Immediately, an alarm went off in my head: “Smoking. Bad. Bad for your health, bad your respiratory system, causes Lung Cancer. Don’t smoke,” and I couldn’t help but judge the freshman girl that I barely knew based on the fact that she inhaled smoke illegally and willingly knocked ten years off her life expectancy. I blame my school district for this snap reaction; over the course of ten years it has done nothing but drill facts and statistics about smoking into the heads of the student body, brain washing us into thinking that people that smoke are horrendous individuals that we should never, ever hang out with unless we want to flunk out of school and die a horrible, slow death.With that being said, while Ashley smoked and Serena and Antoinette quickly joined her (Filling the car with gray smoke and a disgusting smell*), I couldn’t help but wonder about what it would be like to smoke. Obviously, it has some positive effect about it- it has to, if people are smoking at such a young age. I came to the conclusion that it is a fashion statement, simply a part of the gangsta badass image. Do you agree?
Then, while we were all walking through the mall, I couldn’t stop my self conscious from plummeting a few hundred meters at the sight of the three of them walking through the mall. All dressed respectively in tight monochrome clothes that looked like a second pair of skin, with dark hair and a full makeup job, they looked very attractive in a gangsta sort of way. I, on the other hand, looked blatantly out of place and completely ugly, wearing an orange short sleeved shirt, slightly baggy jeans, athletic sneakers, light brown hair, and almost no makeup except for black eyeliner that has long since faded. I felt so out of place. All the guys were staring at them, and they looked so gorgeous, yet at the same time their outfits looked effortless. Is it really worth it being preppy, when everybody else dresses almost ghetto and gets all of the stares from guys?
The way that they acted was so strange, too. They carried themselves with such a graceful air, easing swiftly in and out of the crowd, laughing, joking, having a blast… it looked like they were straight out of a painting. Again, them: goddesses. Me: tall, thin, lanky, and a klutz. There were never awkward silences, unlike when I’m with people and often run out of things to say almost instantly.
Then, of course, the entire time I was with them they were talking about their lifestyle, which included alcohol, sex, and pot. I’ve always known that my sister did drugs and drank- Hell, more than half the population drinks and does drugs! It did bother me a little bit when Ashley was talking about sleeping with her boyfriend, though. It was that comparison again- fourteen year old freshman having sex with her boyfriend, versus fifteen year old sophomore with no boyfriend who hasn’t even had her first kiss yet. It’s so pathetic.
The major drawback to their life, though, is that they did not take school seriously, had horrible attendance, and did not get good grades. They weren’t in the honors classes at school, they rarely got awards, and they didn’t score advanced on their state tests. Academically, they were shit. They still loved their life, though- they loved partying all of the time, they loved have sex, they loved going on routes, they loved staying up until four o’ clock in the morning getting completely wasted. Which begs the question, if they don’t really mind not being a great success, not having a high paying job, not getting that mansion of a house… is it really that bad of a thing? Could you really call them a failure?
On top of that, what if I don’t end up getting into a good college? What if my grades just aren’t that good enough, and my extra curricular activities aren’t that impressive, and my college application doesn’t stand out? What if I don’t end up getting a good job, like an OBG/YN, Pediatrician, or Veterinarian? What if I can’t get into medical school? If the only goals I manage to accomplish in life are living above the influence, am I considered a failure?
The harsh truth: Yes. I will be considered a failure, while they will live life to its fullest and not be bothered by labels. Some of them, though, might actually end up going to college, get a good job, a nice house, and support a good family, while still living their lifestyle. Whether that be true or not, I present you the question:
Is it worth it staying away from all of the stereotypically “bad” things when you could still end up becoming a failure in life either way? Is it worth it to work so hard at something you might not even achieve, when you could be using your youth to act crazy and be free?
I encourage you to comment with your thoughts.
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* I bet you all the money in the world that this is something that Michael hates.
5 .commentary from the peanut gallery.:
Hah! You just lost all the money in the world.
Okay, okay. Let me ease you in and soften the blow:
I grew up with an alcoholic father who smoked a 'helluva' lot. I was around smoke so much I actually like the smell of secondhand smoke now. I understand that there's no filter to get rid of all the cancerous substances, but inhaling it from others feels better than having tar and ash blocking your throat. I don't hate the smell. I hate it when people discourage or complain about smoking, to be honest.
As for your concluding questions, I think it is worth it to stay away if you believe it is right. I mean, the possibility of failure is inevitable, but with the same logic, the possibility of success is always existent too, and that is what I tend to focus on. When it comes to what you should do and what you shouldn't do, I believe it's all relative and some sort of balance has to be established that you can be comfortable with.
Being crazy and wild when you're young is overrated. So is being studious and 'good'. Why conform to one of the extremes, when both can be experienced?
Michael.
P.S. You write like the pros.
Happy New Year, Rosalie.
I agree with Michael.
You don't have to be completely, 100% on one end.
Experimentation is fun, and in the long run; it doesn't really affect your life. (Well depends on what you're planning on doing.)
You know you have a procrastination problem when you know you have comments the day after you publish your blog, but it takes about a month to actually respond.
Gargh. Need to work on that.
Michael: I could have sworn that it would be something you hated. Guess that means I still have a lot to learn about you.
I'm the type of person that conforms to extremes, and always have been. I'll work on trying to find a common ground...
And happy new year as well, even though it's eleven days late. And thanks for the compliment- your writing is fantastic!
eC: I suppose it doesn't affect your life in the LONG run, and that is what matters.
I struggle with this too...I am 17, have never had a boyfriend of any sort, don't even know how to hold a cigarette and drink egg nog at special occasions.
but I kick butt in school.
however...sometimes I do feel like focusing on the future and being smart makes me waste my years where being wild and "bad" is somewhat tolerated.
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